Heaven in Her Smile
by pammazola
Summary: A war with foreign invaders grip the West. Sesshomaru returns to Edo after four long years, tragically changed. Now, entering the darkest days of his life, Rin is his only light. Post-canon, Sengoku Jidai. Won 1st Place for Best Angst Fiction. Cover art by Pamianime.
1. Heaven in Her Smile

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. The only profit I make from this is my own personal enjoyment.**

**A/N: **This is a Christmas present to my young cousin Lila, a fifteen year old with a large obsession for kid movies and a hopeless romantic heart. She also requested the story set in summertime. (^_^)

And thank YOU, fellow SessRin-shippers. You make my fanfiction experience absolutely **magical.**

**~oOo~**

_**Heaven in Her Smile**_

If Rin had known Sesshomaru-sama was coming to visit that day, she would have cleaned herself up rather than spend the afternoon in the field. With old miko Kaede by her side, she carried a basket on the crook of her arm and knelt down into the dirt to pry the hungry roots of weeds from the earth. It was a tedious task, one in which required exceeding patience and vigor. The sun that hung overhead was unmerciful, and the two women often paused to sate the burning thirst in the back of their throats. Reserved heat in Rin's kimono became unbearable. She removed the top layer, exposing the soft flesh of her arms from the shoulder down. Kaede frowned at this disapprovingly. In recent years it was considered immodest of young girls to display any amount of skin below their necks. Peasant children and the very elderly were pardoned from such a rule, but the miko continued to wear long sleeved haoris, being a prime example for her people. At the age of sixteen, Rin was no longer a child, and she became well loved and accepted by the other village folk. When the Shikon miko Kagome returned from the depths of the Bone-eater's well, Rin grew to love her as something like a sister. She learned fascinating things from her, for example, how to write. It was very unlikely she would ever have to put such a skill to use, being a peasant woman, but as soon as Rin realized that Sesshomaru-sama had the ability to write, she put forth her greatest effort to learn, too.

Inuyasha-kun had married Kagome three summers prior. It was interesting watching a marital ceremony; Rin had never seen one before. Radiance bubbled from the miko as she had gone over the preparations. Everything was to be of very traditional Japanese custom, except for the rings Kagome had brought from her own era. Both she and Inuyasha-kun wore them on their left hands. It was a Western thing, Rin was told, a symbol of matrimony, and it had become quite common in the modern world. Rin merely smiled, unable to really understand the significance, but the two appeared content enough.

Sesshomaru-sama did not attend the wedding. In fact, he had not been to the village since Rin celebrated her twelfth summer. There was a great war with foreign invaders raging in the West, he had told her, and he must be present. She innocently questioned how long the war was to last. Would Sesshomaru-sama be back next month for his routine visits? Would he bring her another pretty present? She was very hopeful. She remembered that the daiyoukai's gaze had softened somewhat at her honest curiosity. He soon left without offering a definite answer.

At the end of his first year of absence, Rin no longer waited for Sesshomaru. She accepted that if he was needed elsewhere, then that was where he should be. Kagome explained that regular human wars lasted five, ten, fifteen years or longer. It was quite possibly demonic warfare could stretch decades.

But Rin knew he would return. Even if the fighting lasted a century, he would come back to see her, before she died, at the very least.

As she worked on weeding the fields with Kaede, Rin thought of what she was to make out of this blessed life of hers. She knew very well she was something special, given the honor of traveling alongside the Western Lord, having been resurrected by his fang and his mother's stone, there must be a purpose for her to live. For the longest time Rin had only looked forward to a future with Sesshomaru-sama. Now that it was questionable the length in which he would be gone, she must consider a path for herself. Obviously there were many kindhearted village fellows to choose from. The thought of bearing one of them a child was not a horrible thing in her mind. Contrarily, Rin wanted very much to be a mother. If the right man could provide for her, then she will marry him. The only aspect of this she was uncomfortable with was not first consulting with Sesshomaru-sama. She was still his ward, whether or not she lives by his side. Would he be pleased or angered by the person she chooses?

Rin glanced sidelong at Kaede, a smile sneaking its way across her face. She will have time to think of this thoroughly when the topic arises at one of their dinners. Standing, she wiped the sweat from her brow and the dirt from her hands. The possibility of lunch had just entered her mind when she saw Kaede's back stiffen.

Before she could breathe a word of concern, the elderly miko moved with agility Rin had not realized she possessed, drawing an arrow and taking aim at the parting of the trees close behind them. Her old grey eyes strained to see through the darkness.

"What is it?" Rin murmured, holding her ground firmly. She did not carry a weapon of her own, but she would fight tooth and nail if forced to. Delicate white fists clutched at her sides. If the threat deemed too strong for Kaede she must run to retrieve Inuyasha. A soft rustle of branches confirmed that they were no longer alone. Kaede chanted words Rin recognized as purification enchantments… her legs tensed slightly to flee…

Just as suddenly, the old woman let her bow and arrow drop to her side. The crease of concentration on her wrinkled forehead smoothed itself over. Relief slumped her shoulders.

"Rin-chan, ye demon lord has come," she said calmly, returning the arrow to its sling on her shoulder.

The young girl stared at her for a moment, stunned. "What?" Did she hear that right? Was the old woman positive?"

When she looked back to the trees, he was there, visibly untouched by time.

Impulsively, she dashed forward as fast as her slim legs permitted, and Sesshomaru remained rooted to the spot, gazing off at the distant mountaintops above her head. As she embraced him, hard stone armor and mokomoko, he made the softest noise in the back of his throat, but otherwise deemed unresponsive to the girl he had not seen in four years.

Rin made a small noise of joy.

"Sesshomaru-sama! Are you well? Are you hurt? Please tell me the war is over! Have you come to take me with you? Should I pack now, or wait - ?"

"Rin," he said sharply, cutting her short. His voice was much more tranquil than she remembered it to be, both deeply masculine and soft at the same time. In all her years with the lord he has not raised his tone once. "Release me."

She complied, slightly embarrassed. How could she have lost her tongue like that? Surely not because for so long she has gazed off into the horizon, hoping…

"Lord Sesshomaru," Kaede bowed respectfully. "I mistook ye aura for a threat. Accept my apologies."

"Consider it so," he replied, closing his eyes. No, maybe Rin was wrong. Sesshomaru _did_ look older, and tired.

"How is the war, Milord?" Rin asked again, trying to come across as an adult by addressing a serious topic. It was then Rin realized she had taken off the top layer of her kimono. Heat surged to her cheeks. She must appear childish to him, no doubt.

But Sesshomaru gave no indication her indecency displeased him. In fact, he did not seem to notice her at all! His amber irises stared into the distance somewhere behind her. A bit perplexed, Rin turned her head to see what he was looking at. Seeing nothing, she shrugged, embarrassed.

He considered her words for a brief moment. "As war usually is. Violent." And he left it at that.

Kaede offered him back to their hut, where Kagome and Inuyasha-kun would be waiting for them with a lunch. Sesshomaru nodded curtly, leaping lithely into the air. In a flash of brilliant light, he was gone again, far ahead in the village of Edo. Rin and Kaede picked up their baskets and followed with haste. Rin was somewhat vexed by the lack of warmth that came with this sudden reunion, but she was happy to see him nonetheless. She wondered where Jaken and Ah-Un could be, the imp and dragon almost always accompanied the lord on his travels. Once he had settled for the evening, they would have much to talk about. Inexplicable joy swelled in her heart, and the length of her stride grew until she felt the wind whip back her mane of ebony curls. It was truly a beautiful day, the sun then sinking below the mountains, casting assortments of long shadows. Hopefully, tomorrow would prove just the same. For the first time in four years she would spend it with her lord.

Rin smiled; content.

**~oOo~**

When the two women finally arrived at the hut, Sesshomaru had long since been awaiting them. It was obvious there was a demon in the village. The place was completely deserted aside from the stray chickens that wandered the streets. Sesshomaru seated himself on the ground with his back pressed against one of the fence posts. He rested an elbow on one knee, head bowed.

Rin called to him, but he did not stir at the sound of her voice. Again, the gnawing inside her returned, the feeling of something different, something strange about her lord. And again she brushed the thought away, using this opportunity to admire him in such close proximity.

Much time had passed since she last laid eyes on Sesshomaru. Despite the obvious tired wear in his expression, he was exactly the same. Perhaps it was because of how distant they had become, but Rin felt herself responding to the sight of him, against her will. Suddenly the old charm of human men paled in significance. How could she even _consider_ marrying another? The very notion was absolutely ridiculous. In a split moment of childish yearning she thought of _being _with Sesshomaru-sama, in the way that a wife would.

No sooner did the perverse fantasy cross her mind did he lift his nose, scenting the air. His head tilted to one side.

"Rin?" he murmured, staring at his knee. "Am I welcomed into your home?"

Kaede chuckled, but Rin was almost offended by such a question. "Of course! You need not ask, Milord! What is mine is yours…"

He made another soft, thoughtful noise in the back of his throat, and stood. He half turned in the direction of the hut. "Ladies first."

Rin bowed. "Oh, no! You don't have to be so kind to us! Don't lower yourself at the expense of -!"

"I said 'Ladies first'."

The words were short and clipped, with an edge as sharp as the swords that swayed on his hip. Rin and Kaede waited no longer and entered the hut before him. Sesshomaru followed closely behind.

Of course, Tessaiga greeted him at the door. As if Inuyasha knew not already Sesshomaru didn't come to seek a fight. Still, after a few choice insults exchanged from both sides of the party, he sheathed the fang and returned to his place against the far wooden wall, staring at his half brother with a mixture of vague interest and scorn.

Rin knew she wasn't crazy, not if Inuyasha-kun could also see that something was different about the daiyoukai. While Kagome began setting up for lunch, she had half the mind to ask the hanyou what he saw. After a moment's silent deliberation, she decided against it. Sesshomaru-sama would share it with her in due time.

Astonishingly, neither brother spoke to the other when the meal began. Sesshomaru did not partake in it, as was expected. Instead he chose a corner to sit by himself, eyes closed. If they had not known him better, they would have thought him asleep.

Rin sighed, gazing at the lord with a warm affection while she ate. He stirred slightly, eyelashes fluttering briefly, and then was still

The following day passed in a similar manner, much to Rin's chagrin. Often then not, she felt ignored, no matter how many times she approached her lord, desperate to make conversation of some sort, even if it was of something as mediocre as the weather.

"Sesshomaru-sama," she asked sweetly. "Where is Jaken-sama?"

The daiyoukai shifted in his corner of the hut, where he had not moved since his arrival. Amber eyes opened only slightly to glare at the floorboards beneath Rin's feet. He sighed, agitated. "Home," was all he said, solidifying once more.

"What of Ah and Un then?" she prompted, putting on her best smiled. The two headed dragon would loved to munch on the tasty green grass that flourished this time of year.

"They are dead," Sesshomaru replied softly.

**~oOo~**

Dinner was a similar ordeal. Kagome chatted jovially, sipping her green tea. She took no notice, or pretended not to, that Rin was not contributing anything, only half listening to her progress on the medical herbs Kaede was teaching her to make. Inuyasha seemed distant as well. He no longer wore a deep scowl looking upon his brother. Rather, it was something more like… sympathy. Sesshomaru never lifted his gaze to scold his brother for even showing a _hint_ of pity. Sesshomaru-sama would not tolerate _anyone_ feeling sorry for him, much less an idiot half-breed.

Or Rin.

That night, he rose at the sound of rhythmic breathing patterns echoing from the others around the hut. His ward; however, remained awake. She watched him walking slowly towards the door. It suddenly occurred to Rin; perhaps he was leaving, _forever_, without even saying goodbye. Fear gripped her heart in its icy embrace, causing her to shift onto her side.

Why is he _acting_ this way? What had she _done_ to deserve this silent treatment? Rin understood he had always been shy of conversation, a man of few words, but that gave no reason as to why he was… pushing her away. Rin tried _everything_, but nothing appealed to Sesshomaru. He used to enjoy seeing her wear the expensive kimonos he brought back from the Mainland or the pretty jeweled combs in her ebony hair. He used to reach out to Rin, in a touch to her cheek that seeped radiance and happiness through her body like fine wine until her toes wriggled from his warmth. He used to tell her about his travels, the places he saw, the people he met.

For Kami's sake he used to _look_ at her.

Nothing. Nothing Rin could do brought him to spare her a split second's acknowledgement, as if she was not there at all.

About an arm's length from the door, Sesshomaru stumbled.

The gasp left her mouth before she could bite her tongue to contain it.

He quickly grabbed the threshold, steadying himself, and exited the hut. Rin shoved back the blankets of her futon, hot on his heels. The sight of his silver mane drenched in moonlight reminded her of the earlier years, when she had walked behind so many times over the rugged terrain of Japan, on nights so similar to this…

He was marching in the direction on the forest. Rin had to jog to keep up with his swift pace. He _must _know she is following him, her clumsy footfalls gave no assistance in the stealth she had been hoping to obtain. When he still did not turn back to scold her, she harrumphed, angered.

"_Sesshomaru-sama!_"

His back stiffened.

"Sesshomaru-sama, wait!"

His broad shoulders squared themselves, his stride faltered. She put on a burst of speed, ignoring the protesting ache in her side. "Sesshomaru-sama!"

Finally, halting: "Go back, Rin." The wind caught in his long hair, swaying it to and fro in an exotic dance. Rin stopped running as soon as she reached him, grabbing his arm in a manner that was most disrespectful for a woman of her status, urging him to turn around. "Stop it," he growled, unmoving.

"_Why?_" she snapped, equally as vicious. Oh, if only he would see the flare of her chocolate eyes, they would bore holes into his very soul! "Why are you leaving me like this?"

Sesshomaru tore himself from her weak human hold. "Go back, that is an order."

She laughed harshly at that. "My lord left to go to war when I was twelve! You are not him! You do not have his warmth, his kindness, his love-"

"_This_ Sesshomaru is not obligated to explain himself to you," he hissed lowly, lifting his head. "The village is where you belong."

"But you said I have a choice!" Rin seethed. "You said you would come back for me! Do your promises mean nothing, because I am a ningen?"

The daiyoukai sighed, turning his head to stare off to one side. "I cannot care for you anymore, Rin."

"I was better off before you ever returned here! You should've left me alone, let me believe you to be _dead!_" Her voice raised an octave, cracking slightly. "Rather than feeding me insufferable _lies_, just admit to me you no longer desire my company…"

"You are acting _childishly_," Sesshomaru stressed the last word. "Perhaps I should have staged my death. You most certainly would be better off not knowing I survived." He appeared almost thoughtful. "This Sesshomaru does not lie. I have _never_ deceived you, Rin. I _cannot _care for you, you must stay here."

The wind whipped Rin's hair into her face. Against her will, tears stung her eyes, which she violently brushed away with the sleeve of her kimono. "You only came back to see me," she whispered, dropping her hands helplessly to her sides.

Sesshomaru shook his head, hesitant. "No…" he replied softly, "I did not come to see you." His voice was sorrowful, his gaze drifted over the spot she stood to look back at the tree lines. Suddenly over five hundred years of memories lined his facial features. Physically, Sesshomaru appeared as youthful as ever. To Rin, he was the oldest man ever seen alive.

And just as quickly as his mouth thinned into a line, she understood. With trembling hands, Rin pulled at one sleeve of his white kimono.

"Sesshomaru-sama…" she inhaled deeply, shivers racing down her spine, though the night was very warm. "Look at me."

"If you so wish it." His voice had dropped even lower than her own, so as she had to strain her ears to hear him.

Amber irises finally rose to meet chocolate brown.

Now she knew.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Rin's mouth ran dry, and felt her face flush pale. White hands fisted into his sleeve, pulling herself closer. It couldn't be… not him! He was the strongest, most powerful youkai to walk this world… fierce, majestic, brilliant… beautiful. No one would be so cruel as to do this to him…

"Sesshomaru-sama, are you blind?"

"Yes," he answered.

**~oOo~**

He held her in his arms as she wept for him.

Sesshomaru could look at Rin, but he could not see her. He could not see how much she grew in the last four years, that she had matured from a knobby kneed child to the enviable woman she was today. He could not see her kimono, or combs, or even the pain that echoed from her soul into her eyes.

He would never see her again.

The loss of his eyesight had happened so swiftly Sesshomaru had not the opportunity to defend himself. It was during the midst of a battle with the foreigners did he turn suddenly to look to his left, and a carefully aimed kick from an opponent pushed him to his knees. A vast, treacherous anger seized within Sesshomaru, and he mercilessly slew the remains of the legion attacking them with the Souryuuha of Bakusaiga. The enemy crumbled to ash before him, the lord; however, could not see through the blood that seeped from his eyes, staining his cheeks and the white collared kimono.

The healers were able to do only so much. The blood was cleaned and they sealed the cuts, but the extent of their expertise halted there. They did not know how to restore perfect vision to an individual. Once the tissues had healed, they vanquished any unsightly scars for him. Several demon spell weavers gave their best attempts, but came to no avail.

First, everything was only out of focus. He could not narrow his eyes and bring a single object into sharp clarity. The next few minutes, he could see little more than faint light and shadows, then nothing at all.

He could still navigate by himself with ease. Being an inuyoukai meant he relied more upon his sense of smell than anything else. Now that his vision was gone, not only could he scent better, but he could feel the aura of everything around him, giving an approximation of where objects and people were stationed. A ningen would never be able to tell he was blind without looking him in the eye. Inuyasha had discovered Sesshomaru's secret within being five minutes in his company.

Rin did not know why she could not control her tears. The hurtful things she had said to him, all the while unknown to his condition…

"I am sorry," she whispered, burying her face in his kimono. "I am so sorry."

One clawed hand ran the length of her back, and Sesshomaru leaned forward enough to brush his nose against her brown head of curls. It had been many years since he had last done so.

"I don't understand why you apologize," he murmured. "You are not accountable for my misfortunes."

"I was _horrible_ to you! You came back to check if I was happy! I acted selfishly… I wanted you all to myself…" Rin quickly hushed herself, sniffling.

Sesshomaru thought carefully on this, taking in the situation and what it meant: He was holding and comforting a woman in his arms, and she was confessing she needed him. Nothing like this had he ever experienced before, not once in his very long lifetime.

He felt an otherworldly calling towards her. It softened him inside.

His hand stroked up her spine, slower than before. The sound of her breath hitched, and he suddenly understood what he wanted.

"Rin," Sesshomaru whispered into her round ear, inhaling the scent of her hair. Did she appear to the others as lovely as she smelled to him? The young woman snuggled farther into his embrace, resting against the mokomoko. "May this Sesshomaru… look at you?"

Puzzled, she drew back slightly to stare at his face. "What do you mean? You cannot see, Milord."

"With my eyes, no," he admitted, and then both of his hands found her hips. "But I can _feel _you."

Blood rushed to her cheeks, but Rin knew exactly what he was referring to, as he tried to imply it as innocently as possible. She firmly believed her lord was not lecherous, but he merely wanted a personal level in which he could bring himself down and things would be somewhat normal again. Rin removed his hands from her hips, bringing them slowly up to caress her cheeks. "Look at me, Sesshomaru-sama," she prompted.

He was careful, sliding his long pale fingers along the edges of her jaw. She had a small chin with a distinct womanly pride in its just. Her cheekbones were high, nose was slender, but so soft and smooth on the tip. While the thumb of one hand glided across her plump, pouty lips, the other found its way back to her waist, feeling she was small, just the width of his hand stretched. Sesshomaru pressed his face into her hair, intoxicated, untamed, in love.

She fit perfectly in the curve of his lean frame, and wrapped her arms around his neck, sighing so sweetly. His fingers told him a smile was stealing its way across her face. He desperately wanted to see what Rin looked like. For real.

His home was in her heart. His love was in her eyes. His heaven was in her smile. He would have a taste of that bliss before he left, and if she so desired, he would take her with him. Nothing would be denied to the only woman who could unravel him completely, utterly defenseless.

Sesshomaru gently took her lips with his. He had never kissed anyone before, and never did he anticipate she tremble beneath his touch, nor curl her fingers into his silver locks, moving her tongue lightly in time with his own. It became a pursuit of dominance, one in which Sesshomaru was confident to win. Her soft moans brought inexplicable heat to other parts of his body, ones she brushed against while further kissing him with ravaged abandonment. He could only think to respond back with double the vigor, triple the need.

Rin broke first for much needed breath, and she whispered into his ear that she would like him to make love to her.

In the darkness that Sesshomaru now knew to be the rest of his life, he indulged this woman of her sexual wants. He took her there alongside the tree lines. The sensual feel her of her breasts beneath his hands, her chest to his, the rushing high as he thrust himself within her warmth and shattered to pieces as he experienced a pleasure greater than any power obtained from a sword. Rin was so sweet; the way her long legs entangled with his… he did not want to stop…

It was Sesshomaru's time to heal. For as dark as his eyes could see, Rin was his light, and he would love her, here in the night.

~oOo~


	2. Epilogue: The Sky is Blue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

**A/N: By the urging I've received from readers, I am writing this short epilogue about the life of a blind Sesshomaru. I still wanted to end this as a tragedy, but then I thought maybe this ending is more tragic than killing either character. I will leave that up to the reader to decide.**

**~oOo~**

**Epilogue:**

_**The Sky is Blue**_

**~oOo~**

He waited anxiously for Rin to return.

Sometimes, if she were away from their home, visiting a nearby human village, she would be gone for days. Lady Rin felt it was her duty to care for her husband. She bought only the most expensive meats, the ripest fruits, and the best spices. Many of the merchants could not fathom where a small, quiet woman had acquired such a large quantity of gold to afford everything she bought, but they did not trouble her. Rumors spread far and wide Rin was the mistress of a forest demon, all the more of a reason to leave her be. Aside from her mysterious disappearances every few weeks, the villagers well liked her.

~oOo~

Sesshomaru hated to be left alone. He found absolute silence utterly unnerving, as if he were trapped in a devil's dominion of sinister nothingness. Sometimes, on those long, lonely nights when his wife was sleeping at the village, Sesshomaru felt himself surrendering to that nothingness. If death were the only way out of a personal Hell of Nonexistence, he would gladly welcome it.

But she always came back, thank Kami.

Rin's company was most preferred because he could touch her, and touching Rin always made him feel real. She reminded Sesshomaru of reality, maintaining his sanity. The loss of his eyesight troubled him deeply. How was one who lacked imperfection to cope with such a dilemma? He could still navigate the land well, but now every demon in the country knew of his weakness. Rin would always be in constant danger. If she died, it would be because of his failure to protect her. He vowed to follow soon after. A future without that girl was a dark, lonely future without a glimmer of happiness for him.

~oOo~

They lived in a small shiro, hidden well out of the path of wandering humans. Rarely did they meet another living soul besides each other. Only twice in the past year of their marriage was their home ever subjected to an attack. Sesshomaru had dealt with the offending demons easily enough.

Rin was pleased. She lived her life for the man she loved.

When she returned from her latest visit to the village, she found him on the roof of the shiro, meditating. Previously, Sesshomaru was never very religious, but due to his condition Rin believed it was best to introduce him to the art of clearing one's mind… and find peace. So far, she thought he was making steady progress.

Rin carefully climbed atop the roof using a neighboring tree, slowly covering the distance between them. She sat beside him, patiently waiting for his scolding for her rashness. She did not have to wait long.

"Why are you here?" he acknowledged her presence with a firm tone. "You could fall."

"You would catch me before I come near to hitting the ground," she answered sweetly, placing a gentle hand on his forearm. "I trust you."

"Don't," he snapped, perhaps a little more harshly than he'd meant. "Don't be so dependent on me… I…"

Rin pouted at him, though he wouldn't have realize it. "Oh, my strong husband. My handsome mate, if only you could see me. I'm such a small, frail creature."

"This Sesshomaru is aware of your bodily structure," he muttered, and a waterfall of emotions raged through him in that second. Making love to Rin was possibly the only thing that made him feel alive again, like every nerve in his body was awake and humming with electrifying satisfaction.

He knew she was only trying to convince him that he was still needed. In all honesty, he believed Rin could live comfortably on her own, or with a fully capable human husband. Sesshomaru had selfishly claimed her for himself. She had it wrong. It was not Rin that needed him; it was _he _who needed _her_.

There once was a time when he was independent…

"Hold me," Rin demanded, climbing into the inuyoukai's lap. This time he made no protest. He loved her soft, silky skin against his.

"Tell me," she said, sounding very businesslike. "What do you think about, when I am not here?"

Sesshomaru silently absorbed the question, and took even longer deliberating the answer.

"The past," he finally said, "Before my condition; before the war."

"Is it… painful to remember?" Rin whispered, hugging his neck. "Please, I want to understand."

He actually smiled at that.

"That's the thing. I don't remember. You would think, after centuries of roaming, centuries of travelling this vast terrain, I would remember what the sky looks like."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, and the grip around his neck tightened.

"Everything is disappearing," he continued, running fingers through the raven strands of her hair. "Everything I took advantage of in the prime of my life, it's all going away. I cannot stop it. It makes me feel… hopeless."

_Afraid_, Rin added in her mind. _He is afraid. I would be, too._

"If you are at that village, and I am here, it is much worse. When I don't hear your voice, I cannot remember your face." As he spoke he lightly traced the line of her jaw with his thumb.

"I am fading from your memory as well?" she whispered, and a vile taste of sickness rose in her throat.

"My pride," he answered ruefully, pulling away. "My pride kept me from truly seeing you. I know you are beautiful, Rin. Just…" He let the sentence hang.

No, they needed to stop this heartfelt conversation! She would not let him know how deeply his terrible words tore gashes on her insides! She would hold back the tears from staining her cheeks!

"The sky is blue," Rin said fiercely, caressing his face in her much smaller hands. "Ask me anything, my lord. I can describe it to you! The sky is so very blue today!"

"And how can you describe a color to a man who has never seen blue? Or red, or green, or yellow?" One corner of his lips curved upward in amusement. "I am a hopeless situation."

"Sometimes you make me feel hopeless."

His half-smile vanished. "I do not mean to."

It wasn't an apology.

"Rin," Sesshomaru took her hands from his face. "If the Kami herself offered me one day of sight in exchange for my life, I would do it."

"Don't say that!" she hissed angrily. "That is the most ludicrous thing you could think of! You will live a long life, my lord… with me."

"I would rather die tomorrow if it meant I could see your face tonight," he replied lowly.

Rin bowed her head, sighing heavily. "Then you have become a fool."

Sesshomaru agreed to that. The consequences of his vanity were finally taking their toll, and it was only going to worsen from this point onward.

He stood, carefully carrying his dear wife to ensure that she would not fall from the roof. He was taking her to their bedroom. It saddened him that the image of her brilliant smile may be lost forever, but Sesshomaru could still cherish at least another night sleeping with his head pressed to Rin's breast.

~oOo~

_**End**_**.**


End file.
